Everything happens for a reason....

I have never rejected that phrase more than I do now. Many have said it to me in regard to Julian passing away. Well-meaning friends and family trying to soothe my wounds with lemon juice.

"If one of your three children died today, would you stand at their grave and say that everything happens for a reason?" This was one response I had given. I wasn't at all angry, but I was trying to shed some light on a common phrase that can pack some pretty offensive innuendos. As time has gone by, though, I find I am able to deal with hurtful comments with so much more grace than a few months ago.

Back to the phrase, I had a lot of time to think about why things happen when I spent those four weeks in the hospital prior to giving birth. I felt that if I could somehow explain why my baby had passed away, it would ease my pain. Yet, I found no answer was sufficient. If everything happens for a reason...what was that reason and is it benevolent or punishment?

I started torturing myself. Maybe it was something I said. Something I did? Sins of the past? Was I not grateful enough? Did I choose the wrong doctor? Would five children have been too much? Was I just incapable of handling them so one had to go? Perhaps I wasn't the mother and Christian I thought I was... On and on. What was this REASON everyone spoke of and how could it possible be something GOOD? How in the world is a dead baby better than a living one??

I prayed and read Scripture, going to God himself, to find the truth. And there it was,

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45

So, things don't necessarily happen for a reason, but they do happen! Life just happens. That is it. But now, here is the promise of God for His children,

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Even though life has happened, the Lord promised that He will work it together for my good. I'm so happy that I don't serve a God who loves me based on my actions, but on the actions of His Son. And if there is going to be any reason at all, let it all be for His glory. Anything less is unacceptable.

Through His Word I have realized that there isn't always a "reason", but that I can trust God when life happens.