So I am exactly one month and one day late with this post, but I'm just so happy I am getting this in before 2012. November 4th marked the anniversary of my twin boys' birthday. At 10:56 and 10:57 AM exactly one year earlier, I was in an operating room anxiously awaiting their arrival. I'll never forget the doctors pushing on my "numb" belly so hard I thought their hands would go right through the table. Then it came. "Baby A, 10:56." It was too quiet and seemed like an eternity until I heard the tiny, angry yelping from my precious new child. A wash of relief. "Baby B, 10:57." A large part of me gave in to the fantasy that maybe I would hear the cry. Maybe it was just delayed...but the silence has continued still 13 months later.
It's amazing how the Lord has turned so many of these things around in my life. How you can mourn, but have joy. Be weak, but have strength. Be in the midst of a storm, yet surrounded by ubiquitous peace. Only one God is able to turn your battle ground into your holy ground (by the way, also the title of a great sermon from Pastor Richard Anderson). This is what I felt on November 4th of this year.
The weeks before their birthday I was really stumped about how to go about celebrating the miracle of Gianluca's life while remembering the beautiful life of his twin brother, Julian. So, we decided to have a pancake-themed party and invited our family and those dear friends who had helped us so much in our times of need with the pregnancy and Gianluca. I got up early in the morning to cook and clean and with the help of my good friend and her daughter, we made 60 pancakes from scratch, a batch of gluten free, a batch of dairy free, plus sausage and bacon. Wow a lot of work, but it was so much fun! The pancakes were a hit and there was a thankfulness in the air that could be felt by all. We listened to the kids screaming and laughing, listened to good music and ate until our bellies were full. It was so amazing to watch Gianluca with all of his siblings, cousins and friends. He has been through a lot in his little life and all to the glory of God. Such a great time.
For Julian's part of the day, we had purchased a sky lantern (www.theskylantern.com), let everyone write messages and Scriptures on it and then went outside to release it. Chris unfolded the paper and moved it back and forth to give it some shape. Then he took a lighter and lit the flammable little card inside. I really didn't realize the impact this would have on me to see this fragile little paper balloon floating in the air, traveling further and further away. At first, we didn't think it was going to go up at all, but as the air heated, it started to gently lift higher and higher. Next, we thought it was going to get stuck in the trees. I closed my eyes for a second not wanting to see my only tribute to my baby be a dud, but it gracefully rocked back and forth in the wind, out of the clutches of the branches. It flew higher and further away and we walked, almost mesmerized down the driveway just to be able to keep our eyes on it. Smaller and smaller it became as the distance between us and the balloon grew. It was soaring now.
I started to think about life and what little control we have over it. Sometimes you think something is going to be a disaster, and end up in the trees, but the grace of God blows it into safety, giving it lift, giving it life and we just have to trust that wind and the fire inside with whatever direction it blows us in so that we, too, can fly.
It's amazing how the Lord has turned so many of these things around in my life. How you can mourn, but have joy. Be weak, but have strength. Be in the midst of a storm, yet surrounded by ubiquitous peace. Only one God is able to turn your battle ground into your holy ground (by the way, also the title of a great sermon from Pastor Richard Anderson). This is what I felt on November 4th of this year.
The weeks before their birthday I was really stumped about how to go about celebrating the miracle of Gianluca's life while remembering the beautiful life of his twin brother, Julian. So, we decided to have a pancake-themed party and invited our family and those dear friends who had helped us so much in our times of need with the pregnancy and Gianluca. I got up early in the morning to cook and clean and with the help of my good friend and her daughter, we made 60 pancakes from scratch, a batch of gluten free, a batch of dairy free, plus sausage and bacon. Wow a lot of work, but it was so much fun! The pancakes were a hit and there was a thankfulness in the air that could be felt by all. We listened to the kids screaming and laughing, listened to good music and ate until our bellies were full. It was so amazing to watch Gianluca with all of his siblings, cousins and friends. He has been through a lot in his little life and all to the glory of God. Such a great time.
For Julian's part of the day, we had purchased a sky lantern (www.theskylantern.com), let everyone write messages and Scriptures on it and then went outside to release it. Chris unfolded the paper and moved it back and forth to give it some shape. Then he took a lighter and lit the flammable little card inside. I really didn't realize the impact this would have on me to see this fragile little paper balloon floating in the air, traveling further and further away. At first, we didn't think it was going to go up at all, but as the air heated, it started to gently lift higher and higher. Next, we thought it was going to get stuck in the trees. I closed my eyes for a second not wanting to see my only tribute to my baby be a dud, but it gracefully rocked back and forth in the wind, out of the clutches of the branches. It flew higher and further away and we walked, almost mesmerized down the driveway just to be able to keep our eyes on it. Smaller and smaller it became as the distance between us and the balloon grew. It was soaring now.
I started to think about life and what little control we have over it. Sometimes you think something is going to be a disaster, and end up in the trees, but the grace of God blows it into safety, giving it lift, giving it life and we just have to trust that wind and the fire inside with whatever direction it blows us in so that we, too, can fly.
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2 comments:
so beautifully said. thank you for sharing with us!
Thanks, Josette!! That means a lot to me <3
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